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Traveling sales walks to a house in the country and asks little boy where his mother is?

He say's: out back fucking them Ram,

the salesman responds: You shouldn't things like that about your mother!

And the salesman walks to the back yard and sure enough here was the boy's mother down on her hands and knee's being mounted by this Ram. Well the salesman wasn't going to interupt her so he walk around to the front of the house and seen the little boy again and ask him doesn't it bother you that your mom is being fucked by a ram? And the boy responded Naaaaaaaa!


A biker heard that sheep were a great way to make money by raising a herd but he only had enough money to buy some sheep and not enough for a ram and the veterian wanted to much for stud fee's so the biker decided to do it himself, so he loaded them up in the pick up took out in pasture and had sex with them them brought them back and he did this a couple of months. one day he ask his wife where are the sheep and she said two of them is in the back of the truck and the third one is up front trying to honk the horn!


George Papadopalous was a very, very rich and successful, internationally known Greek ship owner.
One day, as Barbara Walters was interviewing him about his life and times, the following occurred:

[this is taking place as they wander over his beautiful estate,located (where else?) in Greece.....]

"You see, Barbara," he tells her, "This is where it all began. This is the very land upon which I was born, and where I grew up. Over there (pointing towards a humble hut) is where I was born,where my father was born, and his father, yadayada, blah, blah........"

He goes on: "Yes, these hills are where I grew up! Why, just over there, you see that little hill, with the gnarled old fig tree?"

"Oh, yes," she exclaims, "How pretty. How idylic.""Well," he says, "Just under that fig tree is where I had my first sexual experience. And, you see that bush on the other little hill over to the left? That
is where her mother stood and watched!"

This, of course tends to put Barbara off just a tad, but she pushesbravely on: "Oh?"
she says, "And what did her mother say?"

"Baaaaaa"



The city boy was visiting his country cousins, and along about the second week, he was getting pretty bored.

"Look, guys," he told his two cousins, "I see you two go outta here every night and always come back exhausted. What type of partying are you guys doing?"

The two brothers look at each other, and finally, the older one says, "We're out fuckin' sheep!"

The city boy is aghast at this and says they've got to be kidding!

"Nope. You come along with us tonight and we'll show you what we mean."

"Oh no you don't! I bet if I even TRIED to mount a sheep, you'd spread it all around and laugh your asses off!"

"We wouldn't do that. You come along with us tonight, and we'll even give you first choice of a sheep!"

The city boy thought about it, and finally agreed to go along.

That night, they were in a pasture with a herd of sheep. "Go on," said one of the cousins. "Take Your pick!"

The city boy looked the herd over, and, finally settling on one, drops his trousers, mounts the ewe, and procedes to enjoy himself.

Somewhere, in mid-stroke, he hears his cousins laughing at him. Immediately dismounting the sheep, he turns and yells at the two. "I knew it!! You just wanted to see me make a fool of myself!"

"Naw, that's not it," Replied the one cousin, as he dropped his bib overalls and proceded to mount a sheep. "We're laughing cause you picked the ugliest one in the herd!"



Out in the middle of darkest Africa there was a White Missionary living with a tribe of black natives.

One day the big chief comes along and calls the Missionary into his hut, where he was sharpening his big axe. He explains to the white man that his daughter has just given birth to a white baby, and that
since the missionary's the only white man for thousands of miles, the missionary will be the "main course" at dinner that night.

"Now just hang on a minute, give me a chance to explain, chief," says the Missionary. "You're jumping to conclusions here. Let me tell you a story. See all those white sheep out in the field and how
there's one black one amongst them."

The Chief thinks for a moment. "OK!" says the Chief, "You say nothing, I say nothing."


The Shane Warne Love Story

We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon.The warm breeze was full of that earthy musky scent that only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know, and quiet whispering of leaves in the Weeping Willow overhead added the final touch to the most romantic scene. We lay there, both naked. I knew I had to have her and have her now.

Without a word being spoken, I managed to move myself to a position of dominance. I could feel instantly that this is what she had been waiting for as she frantically thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ. I moved slowly at first, inch by inch, until I was fully inside her. Then as tension rose, we began the
ultimate in sex.

Although inexperienced, she approached every change of position with enthusiasm, moaning with despair every time I withdrew to prevent myself from ending it all too soon. As sexual tension heightened towards the inevitable mind-blowing climax, it was all I could do to hold out until the moment we had been both waiting for was upon us. As it did, we rolled together in the now damp grass. As thelast deep orange glow of the long setting sun melted into the darkness of approaching night, as we lay there still entwined in an amorous embrace, I kissed her long and lovingly and whispered how good she had been. She tenderly
and sensuously licked my inner ear and whispered, "Baaa", then re-joined theflock.


A ventirloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog.

Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?

Rancher: This dog don't talk!

Cowboy: Hey dog, how's it going?

Dog: I'm Doing alright

Rancher: (Extreme look of shock)

Cowboy: Is this your owner? (pointing at rancher)

Dog: Yep.

Cowboy: How's he treat you?

Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the
lake once a week to play.

Rancher: (Look of disbelief)

Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your horse?

Rancher: Horses don't talk!

Cowboy: Hey horse, how's it going?

Horse: Not bad.

Rancher: (An even wilder look of shock)

Cowboy: Is this your owner? (pointing at rancher)

Horse: Yep.

Cowboy: How's he treat you?

Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down
often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

Rancher: (total look of amazement)

Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your SHEEP?

Rancher: (gesticulating wildly, and hardly able to talk)...... Them sheep ain't nothin but liars!!!

So the cowboy goes out to seek his fortune on the frontier of the old West. He finally settles on a ranching town near the very edge of civilization. So near, in fact, that there aren't any women to be found for love nor money. Well, he's young and full of hormones, and after a month, he starts getting randy, so he goes to the saloon to ask around. After a couple of sort of nervous, whispered conversations, it comes out that you use the sheep. Well, our hero isn't real happy about this, but he's really desperate. He buys a bottle to nerve himself up. He goes and finds the nearest flock, and decides that if he's going to do this at all, he's going to do it right. He spends most of the afternoon picking out the prettiest sheep in the flock. He shampoos her wool and ties ribbons around her neck. Puts a little bell on her collar. He's also getting pretty drunk. By evening, he's done cleaning up the sheep, and not thinking real clearly. He's so proud of the way the sheep looks, he decides to take her in to town and show her off at the saloon. He walks in with the sheep, and the room goes quiet. Everybody's staring at the guy. And not just staring, but kinda recoiling in shock and horror. He's ashamed, but he's drunk enough; he slurs out, "Whassamada, I thought ever'body went out to the sheep?" Finally, one old timer pipes up. "Yeah, boy, but you got the _sherrif's_ girl."


A couple months back there was a trial in the West Virginia courts. A man was being tried for fornicating with a sheep, since that's still illegal there an' all. Anyway, the key witness was an old fella who was walking
along the highway by the farm where the sheep was raised. The prosecutor asked the witness what he saw: "Well, I was walkin' along, and saw this sheep just'a eatin' grass. And then this fella walks up from behind the
sheep, real quiet-like." "And then what?" asked the prosecutor. "Then he unbuckled his belt, and pulled the sheep close." "And what happened after that?" "Well," said the witness, "they sorta shook for a couple of minutes.Then, afterwards, the sheep turned around... an' licked him!" Just then one of the jurors leaned over to the jury member next tohim and said, "You know... a good sheep'll do that."


In The Land Of Black And White Sheep... Two Dwarfs Walking Side By Side On The Rocky Roads OF The Himalayas Searching For Convents In Search Of A Lost Love.

Suddenly They Happen To Pass By One. Walking Up To The Door And Knocking Only To Be Answered By A Nun.

Dwarf:Have You Seen A Nun About This High(Approx 1 Metre High)In This Convent.

Nun: No Sorry I Haven't.

Dwarf: Have You Seen A Nun About This High (1 Metre) In This Area.

Nun: No Sorry I Havent't.

Then The One Dwarf Chuckles To Himself.

Knock On The Door For A Third Time.

Dwarf:Have You Seen A Nun About This High Anywhere In This Cuntry.
(1 Metre High)

Nun:No Sorry I Haven't.

Once Again The Dwarf Laughs But He Laughs His Ass Off This Time!

All Of A Sudden SMACK!!!!

What The Fuck Was That For.

Why The Fuck Are You Laughing?

I Told You You Fucked A SHEEP.


A Tourist visiting a Greek Village and saw a Old Man sitting on a bench, the tourist wanted to knowa little bit about the village, and the old man said see that house on the hill I built that. I should be called Con the builder, and see that boat in the harbour, I built that. I should be called Con the boat builder, but fuck one sheep!!!